Happy Anniversary??

Today marks the three-year anniversary of when I left my home in South Africa.  (I actually left the country on the 20^th, but let’s not complicate matters here).  That day I was pretty sure I would cry my eyes out and cause the Indian Ocean to flood.  Life would never be the same.  I would leave my home (never to return?).  I would leave my family, my community, indeed, the only home I had ever known.  It felt like I would (should) die.

While circumstances demanded that I leave South Africa, there was no part of my being that had any desire to leave.  I would have been perfectly content to stay there, in my personal paradise, and live out my days.  Life was hard there, but it was real and I loved it.  I loved my beach, my family, my life. 

I remember trying to explain my departure to a certain adorable five-year old.  She said, “well, Miss Jules, just tell the man or woman at the airport that you are not ready to leave.”  Ah, if it were only that simple . . . 

Where would I go?  What would I do?

I still remember talking to a friend at the time who said, “you have to go home”.  “But where is home?” I replied.  I literally had no idea where I would end up.  There was no place in the US that felt like home.  There was no home to go to.  At that point in my life, Wilderness was home. . .maybe more of a home than anyplace had ever been.  I ended up going to visit my Big Sister, Janice, in Estes Park, Colorado.  I knew that I wouldn’t stay there, but it seemed like a nice safe place to land.

After about a week of crying in Janice’s cabin with her cat, I was ready to move on.  But where to?  In keeping with my adventurous (directionless ??) nature, I stood there; practically on the Continental Divide and flipped a coin.  Heads – I head west.  Tails – I turn tails and go east.  Well, it landed tails.  The rest, as they say, is history.  I intended to go to DC and carry on trying to save the world in some non-profit.

God had other plans for me.  

A new job.

I made it as far as Kansas City and took a temp job to make a little money to fund my next adventure.  Well, three years later, I still have that ‘temp job’ today.  It is a job I never would have applied for, but it turned out to suit me well.  It turned out to be the place where I met Jesus; and where I finally stood still long enough to get to know myself; where I grew up (at least a little).  My job has changed in incalculable ways in the last 12 months, and I can’t say what the future holds.  I can say I will never regret that this pit-stop turned into my home.  

A new home.

As I reflect on the last three years, I see that I have grown up . . . that I have been just where God wanted me to be . . . that maybe I wasn’t so happy in South Africa after all . . . that, as pastor said in church on Sunday, “God broke my heart . . . OPEN”.  They say that the hardest things in life turn out to be the best for us.  Well, I would say getting spun off a continent and ripped from my home was right up there in my Top-5 heartbreaks of life . . . and I would also say that it turned out pretty well.  I can still get nostalgic and homesick on occasion, still miss my beach . . . still wonder what might have been, still long for what once was; but I love my life today.  What is . . . is as it should be.  I could not have gotten here without having been there.  People sometimes ask me if I will/would ever go back.  Time has a way of teaching us all sorts of lessons, so I hesistate to say no.  But, I do know that I would never go back to the life I lived back then.  I have given up (lost) a lot of great things about that life, but they pale in comparison to my relationship with Jesus and my new-found life in Middle America.  Who would have thunk it!?

A new dog.

The lesson?

I often find myself struggling to trust God and his timing.  I am a living example of how He knows all and we know nothing . . . so why do I still struggle?  Because I am human, I suppose.

Top 10 : The Good Stuff about Life in the USA

Since I will have my 3-year ‘out of Africa’ anniversary next week, I thought I would use this week’s top 10 to focus on the good stuff here in the good old US of A.   

10. While you may not realize it if you’ve never lived in a developing country, our governmental and social service offices really are very efficient!

9. Phone service is cheap.

8. Theater popcorn.

7. Christmas is in the winter. (It just never felt right in high summer, though it was fun!!)

6. There is plenty of water.

5. Baseball.

The Friendly Confines

4. Plenty of churches & religious freedom to go with them!

3. Troops protecting us.

2. Mexican food.

1. Good old-fashioned vanilla bean ice cream, with hot fudge of course.

South Africa Page

My South Africa page has been updated with three new links.  There will be more to come of my life in Wilderness and my eventual return to the US.

Rooibos Tea instead of Communion

Well, it’s Sunday morning and I am sadly not en route to church.  I have spent the weekend couped up and feeling icky.   Hopefully my favorite South African concoction will help.  I am at this moment steeping rooibos tea with lemon and ginger.  I’ll add a little  honey and sip away shortly.

I hate to miss church this morning, but believe my fellow worshipers will appreciate that I am not there coughing on them during worship time.  I will watch a Mars Hill sermon as I sip my tea . . . studying God’s word alone this morning and praying for a quick recovery.

May you all have a blessed and beautiful day.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 28-31)

A little homesick

I received word this morning that a dear friend in South Africa is very ill.  He is in his 80s and may not recover this time.  I miss him terribly.  I wish I could be there to bring him a rusk and a cup of tea. 

I am in the process of writing a page on my South African experience.  It is complicated and a bit overwhelming, so it’s taking a while.  This post will make more sense once that page is published.

Norman is a dear friend.  He was born in England, lived in Australia,  and Rhodesia (he wouldn’t like it if I said Zimbabwe).  He came to South Africa when Rhodesia became unstable.  That’s where I happened to meet Norman, in a fabulous little village called Wilderness.  I lived in Wilderness for a few years.  Norman was always happy to give me a lift into George (the nearby city), or buy me a coke float & some chips, or loan me a Rand or two.  He is a funny guy who takes life for what it is and doesn’t get too excited about the drama around.

Though I haven’t seen him since I left South Africa in August of 2006, Norman still writes me regularly.  I look forward to hearing the village scuttlebutt and the latest adventures of his cat.  It makes me sad to know that I may have received the last letter that I will ever receive from Norman.

Today, I very much feel like sticking my toes in the India Ocean.